4 Days Before the PCT (Letter To My Future Self)
3-5 minute read
So today was my last day in town. I shared breakfast with my lovely coworkers Sassy and Cate from Cafè One. I also had dinner with my parents and lil bro as well. In between meals, I gathered all my belongings for trail life. Cleaned the whole house up and down. Prepared for every scenario I could possibly think of.
Anyways, I had a lot of time to think, and so I wrote myself a letter to my future self. And hopefully, towards the end of my hike, I can resonate with this letter and learn from my past self. Well, here we go!
Dear me,
As I sit here and finish packing my bags, I can’t help but think to myself, holy shit.. This is insane. Yet, it makes so much sense for someone like me to be doing this. And I hope that the bold energy I possess will stick with me through till the end of this hike, and beyond.
I want to remind myself that, even though I’m going with Gabriel, and he will be my companion on the trail, I still deserve to experience some isolation and independence. I need to experience that. There’s gonna be so much time and space to think about anything and everything. As someone who has anxiety, that fact is overwhelming yet exciting. But I must take advantage.
I also want to remind myself not to worry about those that I’ve left behind back home. I tend to overextend myself for those that I love. And I think that habit isn’t necessarily the healthiest. For me, and my support system. I just need to remember that everyone will be okay and is capable of taking care of themselves. That the people in my life are strong, and they can handle anything coming their way. I have faith in those that I love to not dwell on my absence rather be inspired by it. Who will we both be when we rejoin?
But again, this is the time to focus on me, to reflect on myself and grow into a more resilient version of myself. To understand how capable I am and how to surpass mental limitations that I’ve placed on myself. I hope that a break from society can help me a lot with re-regulating my nervous system, live life more intentionally, and learn how to be present.
If you know me, you know I never do anything for myself. If I do something kind for myself, there’s always a dual purpose included into it. So I want to be intentional about my choices along the way, making sure that some, are just about me.
I hope to make my people proud. And remind those that anything is possible if you have the will to choose transformation over comfort. Many of the people in my life have dreams and ambitions too. Act on it. Be who you’ve always wanted to be. And to hell with those who stop you from chasing your path in life. Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop to take a look around once in a while, you could miss it. Wise words of Buelllllllerrrrrrrr.
And lastly, I pray that Gabriel and I can come out the other end still maintaining our stable, happy, and divinely connected relationship. But I don’t have any doubts on that one lol.
So that’s all for today’s entry. I’ll be writing about my gear list and choices and in the next entry for Tuesday 4/8. Thank you so much for reading.
